Post by Navarre on Feb 27, 2008 0:49:38 GMT
Okay, so it's been a while since I did some proper writing, so this piece is a little old, but it's a story I want to finish, so I figure the best way to do that is to get it out there and have people bug me about it more. So here it is... constructive (operative word) criticism muchly welcomed.
Striking Out: Part 1
A cold wind rolled over the deck of the ship as it sped out of the harbour, and I still hadn’t travelled far enough; I still hadn’t found what I was looking for. The sky was chilly and cloudless, and I stood gazing at the stars, with my coat pulled tight around me. I felt through my pockets for the second time since we left the dock. Some odd change, a key to a hotel I’d stayed in and forgotten to return, a piece of gum wrapped in the remains of a flyer, an old Hershey’s bar, a small stone I’d accumulated somewhere.
Somewhere above and behind me the skipper leaned out of the window of his small bridge and shouted, ‘it’s a bit windy out, kid, you sure you want to be doing this?’
‘Yeah.’ I replied. I was almost surprised by the sound of my own voice. It had taken on a hollow quality, somewhere along the line, like I’d seen too many horrible things in my relatively short life. I hadn’t seen many horrible things at all; I’d just been travelling, searching.
To not find what I was looking for, was that a horrible thing?
The waves were beginning to get higher now, rocking the small boat too and fro as well pulled away from the city, the dark spires and towers looming in a glance behind me, an immense dark figure off to my right. Everywhere behind us there were lights, glinting and shimmering. Ahead was only the dark shadow of the ocean.
I checked my watch. It didn’t have the right time, not here, but it still kept good seconds and minutes. I let fifteen minutes pass and turned, walking smartly up to the little room where the skipper sailed diligently.
‘Okay,’ I said, ‘I want you to turn and head east for a little while, about half an hour, at full speed.’
The guy looked at me strangely, so I simply pointed mutely to the small bag of banknotes I’d pressed into his hands, and was now resting underneath the control panel in front of him. He seemed to understand that, so he kept on sailing.
I left him there and moved to the front of the boat, pulling my hood up around me to keep the spray off of my face. Every so often a big wave would splash up and the heavy mist would smack into my face, clouding my glasses. I supposed it didn’t matter, I would just clean then when we got back to land.
I had no idea what kind of landscape was passing by us back on the coast, it was so dark now we couldn’t’ see, but I imagined urban cityscapes giving way to suburban beach resorts, covered with a fine sand, completely deserted at this time of night. I was hoping that was the way that is was. I didn’t relish the thought on running into anyone until I at least reached the freeway. I wasn’t sure whether they were on to my presence here, but I was trying to leave as little a trail as possible. This little boat was just another smokescreen, something to make it a little harder for them to follow me, if they indeed were tracking me down.
But I had to keep going, I wasn’t finished yet.
The boat continued to ride up and down on the waves, which quietly roared out on the open ocean beyond us. The winds were picking up now, and I reluctantly retreated to the cabin where the skipper was navigating his way through what was fast becoming a squall.
‘You picked a fine night for it, kid. I’m gonna have to pull her closer to land or we’ll be out at sea before you know it.’
‘Just do what you think’s best, as long as I get where I’m going.’
‘And just where is that, exactly?’
I thought for a moment, and then replied, ‘I’m looking for someone, I’ve heard he might be somewhere out here.’
‘Mmm, so that’s why you decided to take a little boat ride?’ He sounded sceptical.
A faint smile touched my lips. ‘No, that was just for fun, I was trying to think of an interesting way to get out of the city.’
He sighed, ‘Well, if you’ve got the cash.’ He seemed satisfied, which was surprising. A young man with a strong British accent, travelling out of the city by boat in the middle of the night? I wouldn’t have been satisfied.
‘Well, if you’ve got the cash…’ His words ran over in my head, and I figured it was as simple as that.
After thirty minutes were up, I made him keep going a little while longer, and pull in closer to the shore so I could see the coastline. Still cities – he told me we’d passed the river over into Jersey – but eventually things began to take on a less built up look, skyscrapers replaced by sea walls and promenades with souvenir shops and seafood restaurants. I saw a collection of jetties coming up in front of us, and returned to the skipper’s side.
‘Hey kid… do you mind if we stop here, I mean… I’ve got a space here so if would be easiest for me…’
I nodded, and he pulled up to the dock. After we’d shuddered to a stop, I turned and shook hands with the skipper, picked up my bag from where I’d left it next to the payment I’d given him and stepped smartly off the boat and out into the city. No more words were exchanged between us, and I was glad.
I’d crossed a few streets when I stopped and rummaged through my bag, checking over the contents. Everything was still there, so I hefted it over my shoulder again and kept on walking. Everywhere the streets seemed to be devoid of any life, no longer a city that never slept, all the shops were shut, and streetlamps bathed everything in a yellow glow, dampening light and amplifying the shadow. Wind whistled off the ocean, between the buildings, so a low moan drifted on the air, all around me, as me feet pounded on the asphalt. Every so often a car would flash by, pools of light punching through the darkness.
Eventually I reached the edge of town, where the roads opened up onto a wide, long expanse of freeway. Once there, the city began to pull slowly away from me, revealing the suburbs I’d been imagining. Tree lined streets with wide roads, picket fences and tall, well off houses. Pristine lawns with pristine cars on pristine driveways, I didn’t spare them much thought, I didn’t think this was the place I was looking for. From up on the freeway I could only see them from the distance, so it didn’t matter anyway. Soon the last views of the city vanished into the darkness. And I just kept going, I still hadn’t found it, so I didn’t have much of a choice.
So many things I didn’t do, didn’t need, didn’t have, like a life stuffed with regrets.
Cars, lorries, vans, they all kept driving by. The traffic was much denser as I got onto the main routes which crisscrossed the country. Eventually the sky in the east began to glow and change colour, heralding the beginning of the next day, and I was still walking. Traffic began to pick up, and I looked at my watch. It had been at least six or seven hours since I’d checked it on the boat coming out of the harbour.
Suddenly a lorry pulled up beside me, the window rolled down to reveal a round, unshaven face beaming kindly out at me with tiny eyes.
‘Hey kid, where you headed?’
I smiled back, ‘Everyone seems to call me kid, nowadays.’
‘Oh, a British kid.’ He chuckled.
I looked out along the road, the sun was rising somewhere to my right.
‘I’m headed wherever you’re going.’
I strolled round to the passenger side and got in. After a while the questions died away, so I didn’t have to worry about making up the answers or avoiding them completely. It was best if these people didn’t know where I came from, or how I’d ended up leaving there. Occasionally I did think about all the things I’d left behind, but the part of me that cared was slowly becoming dulled the further and further I travelled, always to new places, always to places I’d never seen.
All I had was a picture in my mind, so I had to keep going.
Striking Out: Part 1
A cold wind rolled over the deck of the ship as it sped out of the harbour, and I still hadn’t travelled far enough; I still hadn’t found what I was looking for. The sky was chilly and cloudless, and I stood gazing at the stars, with my coat pulled tight around me. I felt through my pockets for the second time since we left the dock. Some odd change, a key to a hotel I’d stayed in and forgotten to return, a piece of gum wrapped in the remains of a flyer, an old Hershey’s bar, a small stone I’d accumulated somewhere.
Somewhere above and behind me the skipper leaned out of the window of his small bridge and shouted, ‘it’s a bit windy out, kid, you sure you want to be doing this?’
‘Yeah.’ I replied. I was almost surprised by the sound of my own voice. It had taken on a hollow quality, somewhere along the line, like I’d seen too many horrible things in my relatively short life. I hadn’t seen many horrible things at all; I’d just been travelling, searching.
To not find what I was looking for, was that a horrible thing?
The waves were beginning to get higher now, rocking the small boat too and fro as well pulled away from the city, the dark spires and towers looming in a glance behind me, an immense dark figure off to my right. Everywhere behind us there were lights, glinting and shimmering. Ahead was only the dark shadow of the ocean.
I checked my watch. It didn’t have the right time, not here, but it still kept good seconds and minutes. I let fifteen minutes pass and turned, walking smartly up to the little room where the skipper sailed diligently.
‘Okay,’ I said, ‘I want you to turn and head east for a little while, about half an hour, at full speed.’
The guy looked at me strangely, so I simply pointed mutely to the small bag of banknotes I’d pressed into his hands, and was now resting underneath the control panel in front of him. He seemed to understand that, so he kept on sailing.
I left him there and moved to the front of the boat, pulling my hood up around me to keep the spray off of my face. Every so often a big wave would splash up and the heavy mist would smack into my face, clouding my glasses. I supposed it didn’t matter, I would just clean then when we got back to land.
I had no idea what kind of landscape was passing by us back on the coast, it was so dark now we couldn’t’ see, but I imagined urban cityscapes giving way to suburban beach resorts, covered with a fine sand, completely deserted at this time of night. I was hoping that was the way that is was. I didn’t relish the thought on running into anyone until I at least reached the freeway. I wasn’t sure whether they were on to my presence here, but I was trying to leave as little a trail as possible. This little boat was just another smokescreen, something to make it a little harder for them to follow me, if they indeed were tracking me down.
But I had to keep going, I wasn’t finished yet.
The boat continued to ride up and down on the waves, which quietly roared out on the open ocean beyond us. The winds were picking up now, and I reluctantly retreated to the cabin where the skipper was navigating his way through what was fast becoming a squall.
‘You picked a fine night for it, kid. I’m gonna have to pull her closer to land or we’ll be out at sea before you know it.’
‘Just do what you think’s best, as long as I get where I’m going.’
‘And just where is that, exactly?’
I thought for a moment, and then replied, ‘I’m looking for someone, I’ve heard he might be somewhere out here.’
‘Mmm, so that’s why you decided to take a little boat ride?’ He sounded sceptical.
A faint smile touched my lips. ‘No, that was just for fun, I was trying to think of an interesting way to get out of the city.’
He sighed, ‘Well, if you’ve got the cash.’ He seemed satisfied, which was surprising. A young man with a strong British accent, travelling out of the city by boat in the middle of the night? I wouldn’t have been satisfied.
‘Well, if you’ve got the cash…’ His words ran over in my head, and I figured it was as simple as that.
After thirty minutes were up, I made him keep going a little while longer, and pull in closer to the shore so I could see the coastline. Still cities – he told me we’d passed the river over into Jersey – but eventually things began to take on a less built up look, skyscrapers replaced by sea walls and promenades with souvenir shops and seafood restaurants. I saw a collection of jetties coming up in front of us, and returned to the skipper’s side.
‘Hey kid… do you mind if we stop here, I mean… I’ve got a space here so if would be easiest for me…’
I nodded, and he pulled up to the dock. After we’d shuddered to a stop, I turned and shook hands with the skipper, picked up my bag from where I’d left it next to the payment I’d given him and stepped smartly off the boat and out into the city. No more words were exchanged between us, and I was glad.
I’d crossed a few streets when I stopped and rummaged through my bag, checking over the contents. Everything was still there, so I hefted it over my shoulder again and kept on walking. Everywhere the streets seemed to be devoid of any life, no longer a city that never slept, all the shops were shut, and streetlamps bathed everything in a yellow glow, dampening light and amplifying the shadow. Wind whistled off the ocean, between the buildings, so a low moan drifted on the air, all around me, as me feet pounded on the asphalt. Every so often a car would flash by, pools of light punching through the darkness.
Eventually I reached the edge of town, where the roads opened up onto a wide, long expanse of freeway. Once there, the city began to pull slowly away from me, revealing the suburbs I’d been imagining. Tree lined streets with wide roads, picket fences and tall, well off houses. Pristine lawns with pristine cars on pristine driveways, I didn’t spare them much thought, I didn’t think this was the place I was looking for. From up on the freeway I could only see them from the distance, so it didn’t matter anyway. Soon the last views of the city vanished into the darkness. And I just kept going, I still hadn’t found it, so I didn’t have much of a choice.
So many things I didn’t do, didn’t need, didn’t have, like a life stuffed with regrets.
Cars, lorries, vans, they all kept driving by. The traffic was much denser as I got onto the main routes which crisscrossed the country. Eventually the sky in the east began to glow and change colour, heralding the beginning of the next day, and I was still walking. Traffic began to pick up, and I looked at my watch. It had been at least six or seven hours since I’d checked it on the boat coming out of the harbour.
Suddenly a lorry pulled up beside me, the window rolled down to reveal a round, unshaven face beaming kindly out at me with tiny eyes.
‘Hey kid, where you headed?’
I smiled back, ‘Everyone seems to call me kid, nowadays.’
‘Oh, a British kid.’ He chuckled.
I looked out along the road, the sun was rising somewhere to my right.
‘I’m headed wherever you’re going.’
I strolled round to the passenger side and got in. After a while the questions died away, so I didn’t have to worry about making up the answers or avoiding them completely. It was best if these people didn’t know where I came from, or how I’d ended up leaving there. Occasionally I did think about all the things I’d left behind, but the part of me that cared was slowly becoming dulled the further and further I travelled, always to new places, always to places I’d never seen.
All I had was a picture in my mind, so I had to keep going.